Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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