Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
