Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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