Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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