I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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