i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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