I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
