stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
