was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
