Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
