a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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