hell yes lets make some ravioli
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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