Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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