Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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