Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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