Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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