i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You ruined the universe
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
