Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
