Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
