Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
