bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
