Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize