i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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