im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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