we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Success! We fucked roommates!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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