so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
