i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
