I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
