I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
