Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
