you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize