I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
