this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
