i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
