Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
