We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
