I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
