why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
