Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
