I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i dont even know how to be here
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
