you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
