Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
