Soap is not a condiment
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize