Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize