no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
