this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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