We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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