just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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