I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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