i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
