Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
