I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
