did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
