I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
