ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
