I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he's gonorrhea incarnate
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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