I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
