Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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